last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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