did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
