just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
