It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
