After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
