I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
