are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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