Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
