i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
