Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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