how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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