She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
