He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
