If i could tip my vagina, i would.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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