I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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