it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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