My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
