im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Michael Bay diarrhea
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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