i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I need to align my fucking chakras
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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