it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
