You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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