No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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