Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
