I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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