haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
