The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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