from now on my penis is your penis
Can Purell be used as lube?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
