Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
