? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
