life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
