I cannot find my penis.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
