I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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