You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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