did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
