Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
