did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
