maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Randomize
