Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
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