This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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