Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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