I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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