Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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