This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
