You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
