reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
