youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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