If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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