Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
where am i from again
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
