Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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