If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
