I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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