Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
