I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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