No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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