everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
