i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
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