I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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