her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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