I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
