he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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