Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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