Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
