Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
