Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
