This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
