I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
