I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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