I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize