fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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