nut hugger
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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